MIASMA SKIES
by Ghost Guardian
Summary: When you break, it's usually from the inside out. (A series of Langst stories, sometimes related and sometimes all different. The ratings and warnings are in each chapter.) formerly known as 'fallen skies and broken dreams'
1. Chapter 1

**Word count- 3,519 word(s)**

 **Warnings- Blood, violence, crying. Angst.**

 **Genre- Angst/Romance.**

 **Additional notes- This was a vent. I need to stop projecting on Lance.**

 **Status- One chapter ficlet.**

 _fallen skies and broken dreams_

* * *

Lance has always been a crier.

He cried when he was happy, he cried when he was sad, he cried when he was angry and felt too many emotions to be _normal._

He never really thought of himself as normal, since he was just the boy from Cuba with a huge family. Nothing much, to be honest.

Just a seventh wheel.

 _Space is vast and empty and cold, void of warmth and love,_ Lance had thought when he woke up from a nightmare, a nightmare about being thrown out the airlock and into the empty airless void of space, tossed far away from the castle where no one could reach him. _and I want to go home. Why can't I just go home?_

Of course, he was too far away from Earth and he could never go home, not soon anyways. He was a million light years from home and he had a universe to save. So he couldn't go home. Maybe he never would...

The stars seemed dimmer than before.

ooo

The training bot was faster than he thought.

It slashed at him with a frightening speed, the other paladins watching and cheering him on. It kicked him away, leaping after him after Lance had hit the wall.

Lance didn't really want to get up. He should just lie there and-

The training bot shut off and stayed still, right before it had put a sword through his gut.

Allura's voice had rung out in the open space. "Lance! What was that? A decafeeb old Altean child could do better!" She was standing, imposing and threatening against the harsh (yet soft) light in the training room.

Coran was standing behind her, holding her shoulder and trying to placate her.

Lance did not respond right away, getting up slowly and wincing as he realized he had at least fifteen new bruises.

"Well, I'm sorry princess. I'm not an Altean child." Lance feebly smiled up at her, half joking.

Allura, in response, had scowled, and brushed off Coran's hand. "You are a paladin of Voltron now! You have been for a while now, so you need to get better or you will fall in battle."

Lance simply smiled externally and waved it off, heading towards the area where everyone else was sitting.

Internally however, Lance wept and screamed about how _worthless you are you'll never be anything you're not as good as keith or shiro or hunk or pidge or allura or coran and you'll fall in battle just like all the other people who had fought-_

He couldn't think that now. Not when he had a team to impress.

ooo

Lance wanted his mom.

It wan't the first time Lance had yelled and screamed for his mom in his soundproof room, crying his heart out and desperately wanting his mother and brothers and sisters and his dad and nana and everyone else in his family.

Lance felt so, so alone. He was just a homesick boy in space, drifting. Drifting until he couldn't even see the stars, only his insecurities laid out in front of him for anyone to see.

He wrapped himself up in his blankets and made a small nest of pillows and he _cried._ He cried until he couldn't find the cares or emotions or tears to cry anymore.

The Blue paladin breathed in, sniffling away some tears.

The stillness of the room and the quiet, empty, hollow hum of machinery made him ache.

Lance wanted- no, needed- his mom.

ooo

Voltron had saved a planet with creatures that were incredibly in tune with emotions from the Galra, who had invaded the planet for valuable materials and building supplies.

They were grateful, talking to the Paladins and sensing certain emotions from them so they could pick up on conversations.

Pidge was asking questions, the aliens talking and showing off to them in face of Pidge's inquisitiveness.

Some of the creatures were comforting Hunk, who was uncomfortable and tired.

Keith and Shiro were asking about the race themselves and their culture. Allura and Coran were on the ship, making repairs and checking energy levels.

Shiro had glanced over to Lance, expecting him to be surrounded by aliens who were loud and flirty like him, a large mass of people talking.

Instead, Lance was sitting with his back against a tree, his hands being held by a few of the aliens. They whispered sweet words and patted his head, hugging him and telling him things that Shiro couldn't hear.

Lance looked confused, but also comforted. He whispered things back, and it looked like a desperate, sad _thank you_ to Shiro.

The black paladin looked away.

ooo

Blue was so, so good to him.

She listened to him, actually _listened,_ when he talked, gave him happy thoughts and good advice, caressing him with a force outside of his body, a whisper of a hug.

Lance sat in the cockpit of Blue, just talking and alternating between humming and silence.

She purred in response to his humming, a purr that sounded like an old song his nana used to sing to him, a dead tune on dead lips.

Lance suddenly felt more tired than he ever had while in space, and he sagged under the weight of it all.

He just sank into a stupor, his lanky, tanned body curling in on itself.

Blue sang him to sleep, making sure that he didn't feel so terribly small anymore.

ooo

The battle was pretty intense.

There was gunfire rattling around in Lance's head, shaking him and Blue as they flew through space and fought off two cruisers.

"Keith! I want you and Hunk to take out those fighters! Pidge, Lance, go take out the ion cannon on one of the cruisers!"

Pidge was yelling something over the comms, and Lance suddenly had an idea.

"Guys! What if we just go around the cruisers, lead them into more open space, and then finish them off so-"

Shiro screamed over the comms. "Lance, shut up and stick to the plan! Follow orders, dammit!"

Lance thought he felt the sky falling, but there was no sky. It was more like his world shattered, to be yelled at by his hero, with such a violent tone and meaning underneath. He's been yelled at before, by so many people who could never be as important as his family or his friends, but he was yelled at by his childhood hero.

His hero, who just wanted him to stay silent.

Lance shut up for the rest of the mission, saying nothing at all, refusing out of spite and guilt and anger, because if his hero yelled at him, then he was nothing at all. He was just carrying out Shiro's orders.

Everything was shattered, his mind and his heart and he wanted to wake up from this god-awful dream, this nightmare that was his life right now.

Hunk had asked/yelled what was wrong with him, practically pleading through the comms while gunfire sounded, but Lance said nothing. He did not respond, and when they formed Voltron it felt nearly fake to him, he wanted out. He wanted to get out of Voltron and just be back to him and Blue on his own.

He wanted to be alone.

Finally, the battle was over at long last. Lance was still silent. They had gone into their hangars, Shiro congratulating everyone.

Everyone but Lance, of course.

"I- I'm tired. I'm gonna chill in Blue for a bit, is that okay?" Lance was so tired of it all, he wanted to stop talking.

"Yep, that's completely fine, Lance. Just come in for dinner, okay?" Shiro said in a chipper tone.

Lance made a noise of agreement and shutting off his comms before ripping off his helmet and screaming.

Lance screamed, loud and anguished and upset and heartbreakingly sad.

He sobbed, cried and yelled for anyone, anyone at all to help him. Lance crawled over to the corner, shaking, tears falling over the floor, Blue's presence heavy in his mind.

He vomited, heaving and screaming, emptying his stomachs contents onto the floor of the cockpit, Blue growling in concern for him.

The Blue paladin sobbed out apologies, to the Paladins, to Allura and Coran, his family and everyone he's ever met, and to Blue especially, but never him, never him.

Eventually, the crying stopped, slowed until Lance could _breathe_ again. It was better than huffing in frantic breaths that did nothing to help at all.

He shifted away from the mess on the floor, curling up in a corner and sniffling, choking on his own sorrow and his distress that he had just vomited in Blue.

Blue simply sent a mental image of him cleaning it up later, curling her presence around her Paladin, lulling him to sleep.

ooo

Keith was up against the level 13 training bot, swinging around and tossing himself into the air, slashing and hacking at the bot and making it seem like it was as easy as breathing.

After the bot had been taken down, everyone had applauded, including the Blue Paladin.

Lance was impressed, he really was. He just didn't want to go up, he knew he would fail and make himself look like a fool.

He stood up, readying himself and his bayard, using a defensive stance.

He got his butt kicked of course, his body slamming into the floor with a distinctive thump-clack-SNAP of his suit, the blow leaving him winded, lying on his back on the cold metal floor.

The bot was programmed to shut down after it's opponent was defeated, so it powered down, slowing to a stop.

He heard yelling, but it almost seemed far away. _Well,_ Lance thought dryly, coughing. _Thirteen is an unlucky number._

Hunk and Pidge had helped him up, gently resting him on their shoulders. Unintentionally, they had poked at some of his more angry bruises and he _hissed,_ an angry, broken noise in his throat that no one heard.

They let Lance stand up, steadying him and making sure he could stand up. Lance smiled an uneasy, winded smile and said a quick thank you before Allura had stomped up to the Blue Paladin, anger clear in the lines on her face and the way she moved.

"Lance, you can't keep doing this to yourself!" She yelled, disappointment radiating from her. "I want you to be successful and good at fighting but _you aren't trying!_ Why can't you be more like Keith?!"

 _Why can't you be more like Keith?_

Lance's facade broke, sudden tears springing to his face, gasping sobs clawing their way through his throat and out of his lungs, a horrifying monster that wanted to ravage him, his heart and his soul and his mind. He started screaming, all the pent up anger and sadness and outright pure depression _bursting_ forth in that one moment with so much force that Lance was sure that he would die.

He fell to the floor, curling up and sobbing and _screaming because oh god why are you doing this to me why why why why **why why why whywhywhywhy-**_

He knew he should have been mortified, or at the very least embarrassed by the way that everyone had suddenly sprung to him, clamouring and holding him and asking if he was okay, yelling and gripping him and trying to hoist him up.

Which, clearly, he was not. He was crying with a mix of anger and sadness and joy at finally being able to cry out everything he had been holding in.

Keith had hauled him up at long last and had started hugging him, barking something at Shiro and Allura before carrying the sobbing boy to his room.

ooo

Keith, suffice to say, was not the greatest with dealing with emotions and crying. But looking at the shaking train wreck that was sitting on the bed... he knew he had to do something.

"Lance?" He tried, softly sitting beside the aforementioned boy. "Are you.. okay?"

Lance sniffled. "No, obviously I'm not okay. I'm a shaky crying mess sitting on a bed." He smiled weakly, another few tears making their way down his face, while he clutched the blanket harder, trying to shield himself from Keith's stare.

The Red Paladin frowned, seeing how rattled that Lance was right now. "Why did you start crying over that one remark that Allura made?"

A pause in Lance's shaking. ".. I was.. compared to you a lot in the Garrison. Iverson only said I was a pilot because you dropped out." Lance suddenly started crying again, broken sobs lodging in his throat, making him cough.

"I've wanted to go home for so long," He continued. "I miss my family. I miss the sea. I miss the rain, and the sky and the clouds. I hate space, I hate myself. I didn't want this. I never have."

"Allura telling me that I wasn't good enough... it kind of broke me a little bit." Lance buried himself in a blanket, laughing brokenly and sobbing.

Keith was, for lack of a better word, horrified.

"Oh dear god. Are you telling me you've been compared to me ever since the _Garrison?_ Jesus, Lance..." Keith rubbed his eyes, trying not to cry himself. "I'm not the greatest person in the universe, Lance. I'm not."

Lance laughed. "Well, to me you are." He wiped his eyes, trying to chase away the tears that had fallen. "You're an amazing pilot, you have a personality, firey and ready to do pretty much anything, and you're good looking, you're so damn determined and I'm just the guy who flirts with girls all the time and does nothing."

Keith, at this point, was angrier than he could have ever known before. But his tone was still gentle.

"Okay Lance. You get some sleep, I'm going to go talk to the others. Is that okay?" The cuban boy nodded jerkily and laid down, curling up.

Keith gently laid his blankets on top of him, hugging Lance one more time before he left the room.

And then Keith just slid down, sitting with his back to the door, and he cried too.

ooo

Hunk was silent, sitting on the floor nervously and tapping his hands on the tile. He was silent out of fear and guilt, because _why didn't you notice that your best friend was so distressed? Why?_ Similar thoughts were running through everyone's mind.

All the other inhabitants of the castle were upset. Lance had always seemed so... happy. Flirty and okay. What happened?

Did something go wrong..?

It had been a while. Maybe 30 minutes since Lance had broken down and sobbed in front of everyone.

The door slid open quietly, but everyone heard it. Keith slipped in, silent, shutting the door himself and clutching his arms.

Pidge exploded. "Keith, what the hell happened? What's wrong with-"

"Keith, please, tell us what's-" Hunk had cried, desperate to know why his best friend was so utterly _broken._

"Keith, answer us!" Allura had all but screamed, storming up to meet him.

Keith slammed his fist into the wall, a loud noise that made everyone jump, and he whirled around.

"Shut the hell up! Shut UP!" Keith yelled, tears leaking down his face with red tear tracks following, splotchy red. His face was creased with fury. Explosive, violent fury.

The red paladin dropped to the floor, curling up with his knees to his chest, ugly crying noises echoing in the space. His hands gripped his hair, bruised and bloodied knuckles on display.

"W-why?" He asked, his voice hitching on another sob. "Why would you-?"

Shiro looked distraught. "Keith, please, what's the matter?" The black paladin knelt next to Keith, the aforementioned boy curling his hands in Shiro's shirt and crying harder.

"You- you- why did you compare him to someone he wasn't?" Dark violet eyes glanced upwards, a few more tears escaping. "He-he just wanted to be okay! He didn't- he didn't want this! He just wants to go home!"

"Keith, we all do..." Pidge snarled, obviously using anger to hide her sorrow.

"He misses the sea!" Keith yelled, voice hoarse and tired.

Everyone, suddenly and unexplainably, fell silent.

"H-he misses the sea. He misses the rain. He misses not being compared to me all the time." He continues, louder. "He misses his mom, his dad, and the earth. He misses everything!" He yells, louder than ever in the otherwise silent room.

"He hates himself! He hates space now! He hates the stars! So just leave him alone!"

The silence seemed to ring out, and Keith held onto Shiro's shirt with a tighter grip, sobbing harder, while Shiro just hugged him close and closed his eyes.

Allura started to cry.

ooo

Everyone left Lance alone in the following days. He seemed to get better, but his smiles were more uncertain, and his hands a bit more shaky.

Hunk hugged him more often, and Pidge toned down on the sarcastic remarks. Shiro made sure to compliment Lance's skills. Allura just... started being kinder in general, to everyone. She realized the stress of fighting a war that had gone on for 10,000 years was getting to everyone. Coran was even more supportive, patting everyone on the back and giving good advice.

Keith starting staying closer to Lance, still being a bit standoffish with him and fighting a bit, but no harsh remarks were passed. They were caught hugging once by Pidge, who just refused to acknowledge it at the time, but now they were making sly references to it in conversation, to which Lance would burst out laughing and Keith would blush almost as red as his lion.

No one else realized what had happened between them.

Lance noticed too, how everyone danced around him, seemed a bit more cautious, treated him like glass about to break. Everyone but Keith.

Keith treated him the same, but he was gentler about it, hugged him and held him close, whispering supportive words in his ear.

Lance gave back by kissing him on the nose, and holding his hands, swamping him in compliments about his fighting and his hair.

They fell into a routine, giving each other support, falling in love in the process. They loved each other dearly, fighting over the pettiest of things as a joke, crying over homesickness and depression, and being there for each other.

Like the times where they were flying through debris fields, dodging assorted things, Keith blasting holes in chunks of metal for Lance, almost like he was holding a door open for him. Lance laughed loudly and with a tinge of love in his voice whenever he did that, which was payment enough for Keith.

Happier times, full of love and laughter and Keith chasing Lance down hallways yelling and throwing things at him because _goddammit, he stole my knife **again-**_

Those were the things keeping them together as the universe changed.

Battles got harder, as enemies realized some of their tactics. Voltron was forced to remake and reuse some tactics.

One mission had gotten wildly out of hand, as they had to go and infiltrate a base on the planet to disable communications systems for the warships, then destroy the ships.

Shiro had split them into teams, Pidge and Hunk going with him, and Keith and Lance going together, running down the hall and shooting sentries, fighting off hordes and yelling compliments over the chaos.

The control room was, unsurprisingly, heavily guarded. Shots fired before Lance had a chance to get his shield up.

 _Bang._

ooo

Keith doesn't really remember what happened.

He remembers a splash of red on the wall, crimson red not unlike his flight suit, a cry of anguish that might have been his own, and screaming.

Screaming, fighting off sentries and guards, crying. His tears.

Finally, finally, all the guards are taken care of, their remains spread out on the ground, guts and brains and cracked wires tangled.

Lance is slumped against a wall, blood pooling around his torso, splatters behind him that could almost be classified as art.

He has a gaping wound in his side, bleeding and showing flesh and muscle.

Keith is kneeling in front of Lance, pulling off his helmet and sobbing, screaming for help. _Please, don't do this to me,_ is the wordless cry.

Lance coughs, a broken noise that sounds like he's dead already, and desperately brings his hands up to Keith's face and brings him closer.

Keith kisses him, despite the blood pooling in Lance's mouth, running down his face.

The blue paladin laughs breathily, trying not to cry, though the pain hurts so badly.

"I guess I won't be seeing my family after all."


	2. Chapter 2

**Word count- 1,054 words**

 **Warnings- Gore, blood, crying, depressing thoughts, swearing.**

 **Genre- Angst.**

 **Additional notes- I would love it if you left a review. It would motivate me to write more.**

 **Status- Estimated 2 chapter ficlet.**

 _golden wheat and dusky skies, part 1_

* * *

Lance was, if he was being honest to himself, being a pain in the neck today.

Flirting more than usual with Allura, showing up late to training for the fifth time this week, cracking more terrible jokes and being more difficult than usual.

(It's not his fault that flirting, joking and lying in bed are his coping mechanisms for homesickness.)

The team was now on a mission, plowing through the golden wheat plains of a planet, sneaking through. Everyone had split up, on their own, hunting down the Galra bases. They needed to be unseen, as the defences on this planet were scattered widely, and they were stronger and in greater numbers.

Flying in was not an option.

Lance was currently dashing through the fields, yelling and hollering into the comms, joyful for once, actually feeling _free._ He's stuck in a war that's been raging for 10,000 years, dammit. He wants to feel something other than stress and pain.

Pidge yelled though the comms as well. "Lance, oh my god. Shut up, we need the comms in case we're in danger!"

"I-i-..." Lance shuts up. He didn't mean to yell so much, he never means to be so loud.

Lance mutes his comm. He then runs directly ahead of him, running away from Pidge. He knows, he knows that Pidge didn't mean to be so harmful with their words, that's just how they work.

 _Loud, stupid. No one wants to hear you. Everyone hates you. Worthless._

"Not now, self-depreciating thoughts." Lance mumbled to himself, feeling the angry tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Lance swiped at them, trying not to cry. He was on a mission, after all. Stay professional.

Suddenly a huge building loomed out of nowhere, gleaming in the setting sun, purple hued metal shimmering darkly. Futuristic shapes and heavy duty weapons as a main focus, standing tall and rigid, breaking through the clouds, reaching to the stars.

The walls of the base flickered, which meant that it has a cloak on it.

Lance clicked the 'unmute' button on his comm. "Hey guys, I think I found the base."

Shiro's voice filtered into his ears, tired but somehow staying energetic enough. "Alright Lance. Heading towards you now. Don't head into the building, wait for us to get there."

Lance's tears suddenly came back, and he didn't know why.

 _He doesn't trust you._

'No,' Lance argued with that little voice. 'No. Shiro trusts me,' he said.

Lance remained rooted to the spot, but he gazed up at the dusky sky and hoped for the team to get there faster.

A stomping sound was coming from not far away, the sound of droids and Galran soldiers.

Lance bolted into the base, hiding because if the sound of those footsteps didn't indicate a huge troop of Galra then he was deaf.

His breath was laboured as he bolted bast hallways, shocked at how the hallways were so empty.

An alarm went off, the loud screeching noise ringing in his ears, making him tear up in anxiousness and terror.

Oh, he was so, so fucked.

Dashing into a room, the door shut behind him with a metallic clang. His breathing sped up, and he felt himself starting to panic.

A baritone, silky voice swept into the room, crackling as though it's through an intercom. "Well, well. A Paladin of Voltron? In our humble base?"

Lance remained silent, tears starting to make his way down his face.

"Ah, a quiet one aren't you? Let's make you talk..." The voice sounded like there was a smirk lying underneath the frigid words.

A click sounded. A door opened. A set of footsteps walked up behind him.

A mechanical whirring started up, getting louder with each passing second.

Clunking metal was heard behind Lance. He froze.

"Talk." The voice purred, like a cat pleased with it's prey, ready to kill. It wasn't crackly anymore.

Lance cried harder, but no sound came out. His knees were shaking and his hands almost dropped his bayard.

He didn't say anything.

A growl ripped out of Lance, and suddenly he activated his shield, swung around, and charged the Galra with a gun pointed at him.

The gun the Galra was holding fired, but Lance blocked them all with his shield before slamming into the soldier.

The wind was knocked out of his opponent. The soldier fell to the ground, wheezing.

Lance shot him in the chest multiple times, screaming curses and howling angrily. "Asshole! Fucker! You goddamn bitch!"

The soldier coughed up blood and bile, before weakly pulling out a small switch from a small pocket. It's blinking red, and with a sudden, vaguely horrifying clarity, he realizes there's a red blinking on the soldier's suit.

"V-vrepit Sa!" The galran man screams, flicking the switch. There's a rapid beeping and blinking form both red lights, and Lance only has a split second to raise his shield.

 ** _BOOM!_**

Lance's body is tossed into a wall, a bomb in the Galran's suit going off with a spectacular bang. Shrapnel flies in all directions, impaling the desk and computer screens all over the room.

The shrapnel also happens to impale Lance.

He's pinned up against a wall, the large metal armour shard piercing his stomach, jagged and scorching from the explosion, and Lance screams.

Sobbing harder, he surveys the room with blurry-tear filled eyes. Everything is either smoking or damaged.

The body lying on the floor is not a body anymore, merely guts and flesh spilled across the floor, vaguely glowing purple blood spattered across the walls.

He doesn't vomit. He simply uses up all his remaining strength to raise his arm (which has a few metal bits lodged in his flesh, he notes silently) and flicks on his comms.

"G-guys!" He coughs, sobbing. "Please help, please, I'm in the base-"

"Lance!" Pidge snaps. "I thought we told you to stay out of the base until we got there!"

Keith snarls through the comms, voice pissed. "Can't you do anything right?!"

Lance sobs almost silently. He can feel his vision getting darker.

"Plea-ase... H-hhhh..." His vision goes dark.


	3. Chapter 3

**Word count- 835 words**

 **Warnings- Panic attack (?), gore, blood, character death.**

 **Genre- Angst.**

 **Additional notes- Apologies for the rather abrupt ending. I didn't mean to. Thank you for your favourites and your reviews. They mean a lot to me.**

 **Status- End of a two chapter ficlet.**

 _golden wheat and dusky skies, part 2_

* * *

Keith was pissed.

Lance hadn't answered them in 10 minutes after he was yelling something incomprehensible over the comms, the only things the team had gotten out of it was that he was in the base.

Pidge had gone with him in the wheat fields, traipsing through the dirt and yellow-gold reeds (which were almost taller than them), jumping her way through with their jetpack.

They had wandered a long, long way from the start point.

"Lance is being an ass today." Pidge muttered, kicking some small rocks out of their way. "I mean," They continued, flailing their hands around in anger. "Come on! He was late to training again, he was rude to you multiple times, and he just blatantly ignored Shiro's orders to not go in the base!"

"'I'm blue! Blue is obviously better than red!'" Keith quipped, making air quotations as he mimicked Lance and swiped some wheat out of the way.

Hunk's voice crackled over the comms. "Hey, uh, guys? How far are you from the base? We still have Lance's location, we're about 2 minutes from the Galra stronghold."

Pidge responded. "About a minute away. See you in a bit."

A minute quickly passed, with Keith jumping up high in the air using his jetpack and pulling Pidge with him (who obviously screamed).

They landed in front of the base, quickly dismantling a few droids before the alarms went off. Shiro and Hunk quickly came to their aid, and they all ran into the base looking for the irresponsible Lance Sanchez, fighting off any soldiers they could.

The halls were lit with a dim purple light, like all galra bases and ships they had been on so far. Mechanical humming and the blaring alarms echoed through the passages and the vents, and Keith shivered.

Running up stairs, Pidge quickly sliced through a group of rogue galran soldier droids, motioning for the team to follow.

Hunk shot another few droids, the bullet tearing through the metal and it crumpled, the droid dropping like a marionette with its strings chopped in half. Shiro charged a galran soldier, knocking the galra out cold.

"Alright, I think that's the last one on this floor... wait." Shiro hesitated.

Hazy smoke was drifting from an open door, the corrupted scent burning and wafting, shapes in the grey vapour dissolving and reforming with ease.

Hunk frowned, and stepped over to the door. He glanced inside, and suddenly, he stumbled backwards, hitting the wall, letting out a scream.

Tears started rolling down his face, splotchy spots blossoming under his eyes, and he fell to the ground, holding his mouth, trying not to vomit.

Pidge quickly rushed to his aid, grabbing him and shaking him, yelling, "Hunk! Hunk! What's wrong! Hunk!"

Hunk was outright sobbing now, with Pidge and Shiro not looking in the smoky room yet. Keith quietly treaded over to the open door and peeked inside, and nearly started screaming right then and there.

The mangled corpse of some Galra was spattered on the floor, skin and guts and lungs strewn along the floor, purplish blood staining the floor and walls.

However, that wasn't what has shocked and scarred him to the core.

Lance.

Lance.

Lance.

 _Lance, the blue paladin._

He was usually so.. immaculate. Gorgeous. Almost untouchable, joking and happy but serious when need be. Logical and fearless when his friends were in danger. Lovely in every way, despite the fact that he could be annoying and rude sometimes.

His sparkling blue eyes.

His tanned, clear skin.

All of it was gone, replaced by a husk, a charred body with metal shards sticking out of it, resembling a pincushion. Red blood seeped out of wounds and his mouth, dripping over the ocean blue of his armour, staining the white and mixing until red was drowning the blue.

His eyes were glassy.

His skin was dirty.

This wasn't Lance.

His face felt wet, Keith realized, his hand brushing ever his cheek. Wet with tears, he noted, still shell shocked.

Pidge stood behind him, looking resolute and empty. Their eyes looked so, so far away, and it looked like nothing could reach them. Not now.

Shiro kneeled on the ground, the stench of blood obviously ensnaring him and sending him into the deep parts of his mind, the trauma and the pain coming back to haunt him, and he looked like a mess.

Hunk had passed out, but he was still crying, the translucent tears tracking their way down. Even as he was dressed in a colour known to embody happiness, he looked anything but.

Keith gently hugged Shiro, the aforementioned man startling. His face screwed up, and tears freely beginning to flow, sobs wrenching their way out of his mouth, wracking his frame with tremors.

Lance's glassy, bloody eyes stared back at them, and Keith let his fear and terror and utterly crushing sadness flow.

They cried for another family member they had all lost.


	4. Chapter 4

**Word count- 830 word(s)**

 **Warnings- Mentions of gore, mentions of suicide attempts**

 **Genre- Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Romance**

 **Additional Notes- Something quick to just, update the story. To all the people who've been following this, thank you.**

 **Status- One chapter.**

 _our minds are broken but we can fix them with a little duct tape and lovin'_

* * *

Keith practically rips his Blade suit off as he changes into his regular clothes, the looser fit instantly making him calmer even though he's still crying and sniffling and raging.

Falling onto the bed is easy, but it reminds him of the almost free fall he took.

Wrapping the blankets and sheets and downy duvet around his still trembling body.

Keith is curled under the sheets, the pressure of the blankets winding gently around him as the reality of the situation fully sets in.

God, he nearly died.

Thanking every single god or goddess or deity out there that might be looking onto him is getting old by now but it still helps.

The soft glow of his knife isn't a comfort anymore, it's a reminder of his near suicide to help the team, the universe live on.

Fuck, the overwhelming relief of living is insane, but the dark room is starting to dampen that joy.

And then the dark is gone as the door slides open.

"Hey." Lance's voice is trembling, cracking, and Keith knows like a sixth sense that Lance has been, is right this very second, crying.

Keith curls tighter in his room, his sheets, trying to block everything out, anything out.

"Keith." Lance's voice is growing closer as his feet pad across the floor, and then Lance sits next to the bed, facing away from Keith as he looks at the wall.

Neither of them say anything.

"Matt... Matt told us." Keith shuts his eyes. He's going to be guilted, yelled at, screamed at until his ears ring deaf and Lance is sobbing on the floor. He doesn't want that, not right now.

"I would have done the same." Lance whispers to him, and Lance turns, his eyes shimmering blue in the low light as the door slides shut again at last.

Keith's heart misses a beat, but then Keith is sitting up, still wrapped in blankets, still with messy hair, but the shocked expression is new.

"No. You- no. You're perfect, and amazing, why would you be willing to do that?" Keith struggles with the words, they're catching on the end of his tongue like poison honey.

Lance barks out a laugh, not the normal smooth one. This one is pain, full of anger and it feels like glass shards on the Red (no, black, no, the nameless) Paladin's heart.

"I'm flattered! Really, I am." Lance drawls, wiping away one of the tears that slipped out. "But I'm not. You're the perfect one."

Keith laughs a startled laugh, his face flushing. "We both call each other perfect but we'd both be willing to commit suicide in a second? How messed up is that?"

"We really are fucked up, huh?" Lance snickers, and it looks like all the pain lining his eyes has evaporated into nothing.

Lance breaks down crying and laughing, climbing up onto the bed and hugging the hell out of Keith as they both cry and laugh. Both of them have reached their limits, their emotions out of whack.

"I would cut out my lungs for you." Keith giggles hysterically, and he can feel himself letting go of all the internal anguish he's felt today.

"And I would rip out my stomach for you, if you asked nicely," Lance half laughs, half sobs into Keith's hair.

Keith sobs and hugs back, snaking his arms around Lance's waist and clinging like he's a baby again.

As they calm, Lance's arms tighten. "Keith, dude... can I.."

"Can you what?" Keith's eyes are shut as he murmurs against Lance's shoulder, the scent of old pine and salt clinging to the jacket.

"Can I cuddle with you? To assure myself that you're alive?"

Time slows and then speeds up again.

"Absolutely. What took you so long to ask?" The words flow out of his mouth like water would flow down a cliff face. The soothing calm of it washes over both of them.

Lance grins widely.

They settle. Lance is spooning Keith, wrapping his arms around Keith again like Keith is his lifeline.

It's warm.

Like the tears (now happy ones) that are sliding down Keith's face.

Keith would kill himself in a second if it meant keeping Lance safe.

It's sobering to know Lance would do the same in a heartbeat.

There's no hesitation lingering in their systems when Keith turns and smashes his lips onto Lance's.

Any thoughts of suicide are out the airlock.

There's only the satisfaction of feeling everything again, and the feeling of the tears mixing as they kiss, passionate but gentle.

Lance laughs into the kiss.

Keith smiles.

It's alright. Everything is okay now.

They're together, and that's really all that matters right now.

The lights shut off completely again.

They kiss, but it's somehow better this time.


End file.
